ZIMBABWE...MY WAY, YOUR WAY, ANY OLD WAY!
Money is interesting. Zimbabwe's money, their paper currency, is more than interesting...it's fascinating! I say that with confidence because all one has to do is spend some of it and the fascination begins.
Of course, if you want to spend some Zimbabwean dollars you have to be situated in the country of Zimbabwe. No other country on earth will accept Zim dollars as "legal tender." Meaning: Zim dollars are absolutely worthless anywhere on earth except in Zimbabwe. And it must be noted that even there they are not as acceptable for purchases as other currencies such as the South African Rand or the U.S. dollar. Hell, even the Botswanean Pula is preferred over Zim dollars in Zimbabwe!
My good friend, fellow S.A. Fulbrighter, Ron Reese, recently wrote about his experience with the Zim dollar. We went to Zimbabwe together...with our respective wives, and little Ivan J.J. too. Ron said, "If you want to be a millionaire, go to Zimbabwe. If you want to be rich, go elsewhere." Perfect! Ron always has such keen insights on money matters...
We celebrated Ivan's seventh birthday near Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe, together. Together meant Ron, Andrea, and my family. Birthdays usually always involve lots of presents, right? Ivan was "pumped up" over his birthday presents, especially when I told him he was getting a MILLION DOLLARS from me as one of his main gifts. I told him that very few boys receive a million dollars as a birthday present. He countered with, "Maybe Donald Trump's son would receive such a present!" Ivan was pleased, very pleased, with his stack of Zim dollars. I even added an extra $100,000 note to broaden his smile even further! It was sure to be his best birthday ever.
Sad to say, I think the bright, rambunctious boy had figured it all out...meaning I think he knew the Zim dollar was worthless. Nevertheless, he was still bubbling with enthusiasm over the fact that he was an instant "millionaire" for the first time in his young life. He even commented that he did not have to purchase a lottery ticket. It had to be a good feeling for him...
Ivan also received a lion claw necklace that evening (June 27). He wears it proudly everywhere he goes. Additionally, he was the recipient of a crocodile tooth, also on a leather necklace. To boot, he rode on an elephant earlier that evening at a Zimbabwean game reserve. I guess he was also thrilled that the name of "his" elephant was "Janet." Go and figure.
The big day was topped off with a wonderful, delicious supper at The Boma Eating House (that's what they call restaurants in Zimbabwe, I guess). Ivan made sure he had his fill of warthog steak, buffalo stew, impala fillets, lamb, kudu...all lovingly cooked over an open fire, near our table.
Finally, the eating house performers (musicians, dancers, singers), managed to recognize Ivan's day by singing a happy birthday song in their indigenous language. I think it was Tonga language. They were beating their drums furiously and the large audience of dinner guests joined in, attempting to out-furious the professionals. It was a lot of (noisy) fun!
All of the above, of course, was NOT paid for in Zim dollars! South Africa's Rand was cashed in to cover all costs. Considering what we paid for earlier for Ivan: a double-cheeseburger at the only Wimpy's in town for 1,000,000 Zim dollars, it would have taken a huge stack of the local currency to finance the birthday. I think the Boma dinner bill was about $30 U.S. and half of that for kids under the age of twelve.
Well, we just returned from a three-day mini-vacation in Swaziland. Their currency is very interesting too. The paper version is called "Emalangeni." I have no idea what the heck an Emalangeni is when comparing it to a dollar, a Pula, or a Rand. The Swazi paper currency features their king, HM King Mswati III, on the front; the back features Swaziland's prominent dam and the hydro-electricity produced by it for its people. Above the printed "Central Bank of Swaziland" is displayed the phrase, "GOD IS OUR SOURCE." Yes, it's all capital letters.
Zimbabwe would not dare to feature such language on its currency. Being worthless, what would "GOD IS OUR SOURCE" printed on their Zim dollars mean to the "man in the street?" Largely speaking, both Swaziland and Zimbabwe are Christian nations...that is, most of their citizens are Christian. Zimbabwe's president, Robert Mugabe, proudly professes to be a Christian. The guy's been their president since the beginning: 1980. That works out to about 26 years of misrule, gross corruption, hyper-inflation, an HIV-AIDS pandemic that is running amok, and international condemnation. Hmmmmmm, Robert better get on his knees a little more.
Yes, currencies of any country can be interesting. Little Ivan J.J. has certainly found that to be the case. Like many kids his age, he likes to play with money...and Zimbabwean dollars make very good play money. It's telling that a seven-year-old has it all figured out, Mr. President Mugabe. And it is a tragic shame that you, sir, keep building (real) million-dollar mansions in your mismanaged country while your citizens live in impoverishment as frightened occupants of a pariah nation that is the laughing-stock of the world! But there is absolutely nothing fascinating about that, Mr. President...
P.S.: Please don't share the following information with Zimbabwean police officials. We were speeding along on a Zimbabwean version of a super highway...the one between Bulawayo and the South African border. Yes, it has only two lanes. To their credit, the asphalt road has few potholes--something Botswana officials could learn from.
Ron was leading our two-vehicles on our escape route south when he was suddenly waved down by a police official with one of those old-fashioned, hand-held, radar instruments. Ron could have sped on because the two fellows standing there would not have had time to react (I'm not even sure if they had a police car there).
I slowed down and crept up on Ron's vehicle and listened to the subsequent conversation. He tried to argue his case, but it was to no avail. Ron was slapped with an on-the-spot fine of $200,00 (Zim) dollars, which works out to about $2 U.S. We were both cracking up with laughter...as Ron was made to sign a document that indicated his admission of guilt for driving about 20 miles per hour over the posted speed limit.
Recognizing that Ron had a terrific souvenir (he was given a copy of the admission of guilt document), for only $2, I begged the police officer for a speeding ticket too. He immediately refused, saying that I was not speeding...that I was simply following the lead speeding vehicle driven by Mr. Reese. My argument was futile, so we returned to our respective Japanese imports and sped off. I could only hope for a speeding ticket down the road...which, unfortunately, never happened!
Of course, if you want to spend some Zimbabwean dollars you have to be situated in the country of Zimbabwe. No other country on earth will accept Zim dollars as "legal tender." Meaning: Zim dollars are absolutely worthless anywhere on earth except in Zimbabwe. And it must be noted that even there they are not as acceptable for purchases as other currencies such as the South African Rand or the U.S. dollar. Hell, even the Botswanean Pula is preferred over Zim dollars in Zimbabwe!
My good friend, fellow S.A. Fulbrighter, Ron Reese, recently wrote about his experience with the Zim dollar. We went to Zimbabwe together...with our respective wives, and little Ivan J.J. too. Ron said, "If you want to be a millionaire, go to Zimbabwe. If you want to be rich, go elsewhere." Perfect! Ron always has such keen insights on money matters...
We celebrated Ivan's seventh birthday near Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe, together. Together meant Ron, Andrea, and my family. Birthdays usually always involve lots of presents, right? Ivan was "pumped up" over his birthday presents, especially when I told him he was getting a MILLION DOLLARS from me as one of his main gifts. I told him that very few boys receive a million dollars as a birthday present. He countered with, "Maybe Donald Trump's son would receive such a present!" Ivan was pleased, very pleased, with his stack of Zim dollars. I even added an extra $100,000 note to broaden his smile even further! It was sure to be his best birthday ever.
Sad to say, I think the bright, rambunctious boy had figured it all out...meaning I think he knew the Zim dollar was worthless. Nevertheless, he was still bubbling with enthusiasm over the fact that he was an instant "millionaire" for the first time in his young life. He even commented that he did not have to purchase a lottery ticket. It had to be a good feeling for him...
Ivan also received a lion claw necklace that evening (June 27). He wears it proudly everywhere he goes. Additionally, he was the recipient of a crocodile tooth, also on a leather necklace. To boot, he rode on an elephant earlier that evening at a Zimbabwean game reserve. I guess he was also thrilled that the name of "his" elephant was "Janet." Go and figure.
The big day was topped off with a wonderful, delicious supper at The Boma Eating House (that's what they call restaurants in Zimbabwe, I guess). Ivan made sure he had his fill of warthog steak, buffalo stew, impala fillets, lamb, kudu...all lovingly cooked over an open fire, near our table.
Finally, the eating house performers (musicians, dancers, singers), managed to recognize Ivan's day by singing a happy birthday song in their indigenous language. I think it was Tonga language. They were beating their drums furiously and the large audience of dinner guests joined in, attempting to out-furious the professionals. It was a lot of (noisy) fun!
All of the above, of course, was NOT paid for in Zim dollars! South Africa's Rand was cashed in to cover all costs. Considering what we paid for earlier for Ivan: a double-cheeseburger at the only Wimpy's in town for 1,000,000 Zim dollars, it would have taken a huge stack of the local currency to finance the birthday. I think the Boma dinner bill was about $30 U.S. and half of that for kids under the age of twelve.
Well, we just returned from a three-day mini-vacation in Swaziland. Their currency is very interesting too. The paper version is called "Emalangeni." I have no idea what the heck an Emalangeni is when comparing it to a dollar, a Pula, or a Rand. The Swazi paper currency features their king, HM King Mswati III, on the front; the back features Swaziland's prominent dam and the hydro-electricity produced by it for its people. Above the printed "Central Bank of Swaziland" is displayed the phrase, "GOD IS OUR SOURCE." Yes, it's all capital letters.
Zimbabwe would not dare to feature such language on its currency. Being worthless, what would "GOD IS OUR SOURCE" printed on their Zim dollars mean to the "man in the street?" Largely speaking, both Swaziland and Zimbabwe are Christian nations...that is, most of their citizens are Christian. Zimbabwe's president, Robert Mugabe, proudly professes to be a Christian. The guy's been their president since the beginning: 1980. That works out to about 26 years of misrule, gross corruption, hyper-inflation, an HIV-AIDS pandemic that is running amok, and international condemnation. Hmmmmmm, Robert better get on his knees a little more.
Yes, currencies of any country can be interesting. Little Ivan J.J. has certainly found that to be the case. Like many kids his age, he likes to play with money...and Zimbabwean dollars make very good play money. It's telling that a seven-year-old has it all figured out, Mr. President Mugabe. And it is a tragic shame that you, sir, keep building (real) million-dollar mansions in your mismanaged country while your citizens live in impoverishment as frightened occupants of a pariah nation that is the laughing-stock of the world! But there is absolutely nothing fascinating about that, Mr. President...
P.S.: Please don't share the following information with Zimbabwean police officials. We were speeding along on a Zimbabwean version of a super highway...the one between Bulawayo and the South African border. Yes, it has only two lanes. To their credit, the asphalt road has few potholes--something Botswana officials could learn from.
Ron was leading our two-vehicles on our escape route south when he was suddenly waved down by a police official with one of those old-fashioned, hand-held, radar instruments. Ron could have sped on because the two fellows standing there would not have had time to react (I'm not even sure if they had a police car there).
I slowed down and crept up on Ron's vehicle and listened to the subsequent conversation. He tried to argue his case, but it was to no avail. Ron was slapped with an on-the-spot fine of $200,00 (Zim) dollars, which works out to about $2 U.S. We were both cracking up with laughter...as Ron was made to sign a document that indicated his admission of guilt for driving about 20 miles per hour over the posted speed limit.
Recognizing that Ron had a terrific souvenir (he was given a copy of the admission of guilt document), for only $2, I begged the police officer for a speeding ticket too. He immediately refused, saying that I was not speeding...that I was simply following the lead speeding vehicle driven by Mr. Reese. My argument was futile, so we returned to our respective Japanese imports and sped off. I could only hope for a speeding ticket down the road...which, unfortunately, never happened!
posted by JOBURG JOURNAL at 2:10 AM
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